25 August 2014

Live what you believe, or don't?

Samantha Pugsley waited until she got married before losing her virginity.  She regretted it though.

Her reason for doing this is because she pledged to do so at church when she was 10.  She learned that sex was taboo outside marriage.  She had the impression that anything associated with sex outside marriage was morally wrong, to the extent that she feared going to Hell if she crossed the line.  She was proud of her virginity badge of righteousness and felt guilty if anything remotely sexual came up.

She had sexual intercourse with her husband after marriage, but by that stage, protecting her virginity was such an integral part of her, that she did not find pleasure in sex.  It hurt.  It felt dirty and wrong and sinful.  Even though she was doing it with her marital partner.

Samantha saw a therapist about this.  She blamed the church for the way she had become.  She no longer goes to church or calls herself a Christian.

What went wrong?  Was it the Church?  The Church's message?  Was God wrong or the Church?  What do you think?

When I read this story, I wanted to tell Samantha that she need not believe the church.  She should do what she believes to be right with God.  What is right or wrong is between us and God, and nobody else.  The church would try to help, but the church can get it wrong, just like anybody can make mistakes.

But I realise this would not be helpful.  What if, what she thinks to be right is actually wrong?  Even the church disagrees about some things, as the ordination of women, as in what elements are acceptable as sacrements, etc.  If anybody can be wrong, then Samantha herself can be wrong too!

I thought to counsel her to live by what she believes.  This sounds good.  But what if everybody be doing the right thing by doing this?  If that were the case, then Muslim mercenaries and murderers are doing the right thing by killing other people, because they believe that their victims should die.  But we who value life would say that what they believe is wrong.

So how should I counsel Samantha?  How would you do it?  How can we advise somebody who has values already ingrained in her person ... even if those values may be wrong?

What can God do?

21 August 2014

Heaping coals of fire

In Proverbs 25:21-22, the Scriptures tell us that
If your enemy is hungry, give him food to eat;
    if he is thirsty, give him water to drink. 
 In doing this, you will heap burning coals on his head,
    and the Lord will reward you.
This is reiterated in Romans 12:20:
On the contrary: "If your enemy is hungry, feed him; if he is thirsty, give him something to drink. In doing this, you will heap burning coals on his head."

What do you think this means?

I had heard it explained before, but I could not remember, so I recently looked it up.  It means to bless your enemies.

Apparently, in a culture where one carries things on their heads and where one can ask their neighbours for anything one needs without embarrassment, one is even able to ask for fire when one's own fire goes out.  So one's neighbour would heap coals of fire for one to carry home.

How unlike us, who thinks of wanting to hurt our enemies!

We would want to think of avoiding one's enemies, or harming the enemy in some way.  But this is not the way of the Lord.  The Lord would want us to bless our enemies the way we want to bless our neighbours.  The promise is that the Lord would reward us if we do.

These proverbs are generally true.  A recent story I read was of a Japanese pilot who played a major role in the bombing of Pearl Harbor, in the battle that started World War II.  This pilot later came to know Jesus.  His change of heart led him to love his enemies, and he was rewarded.

But how unlike us, who would naturally wish to fear our enemies, or hate them, or wish bad things on them.

How would you feel towards the ISIS if you were one of the victims?  Or related to one of them?

Or if you have been raped? Or in some other way abused?

How do we love our enemies? How did Jesus do it?  How should we do it?  Why?

Would you love your enemies the way Jesus loves you?

16 August 2014

Decluttering

Joshua Becker wrote of the virtues of having a smaller home.

He said that a smaller home is:
  • Easier to maintain and clean and less to decorate,
  • Because of the above, it gives the dwellers more time for other things like family bonding,
  • Less expensive and consequently less financially risky,
  • Mentally freeing, because a person with a smaller home would have less possessions to be concerned with,
  • Easier to sell the home later, as it is probably more affordable for its next owner.
Many people disagreed, citing reasons why bigger homes are advantageous.  Eg.
  • More space.
  • Better price.
  • Family not always in each others' space.
  • Room for stuff.
  • Etc.
What do you believe?  What are your values with regards to this aspect of life?

Michael later shared the following questionaire with me:

"1. Do you have a hard time parting with items, even if you never use them or they’re broken?

2. Do you have many items around your house that don’t have a permanent home?

3. Do you tend to make pile of things, to be dealt with at a future time, and these piles often linger for more than a few days?

4. Are there areas in your home (the dining room table, for instance) that must be cleared off before they can be sued for their intended purpose?

5. Do you save things often because you are concerned about how you will feel if you need them in the future and no longer have them?

6. Do you often save things without a clear idea of how you’ll use them in the future?

7. Do you still have items that you once bought with the intention of giving them away as gifts?


8. Do you have boxes of possessions that have moved with you from home to home but you’ve never gone through?

9. Do you often buy multiples of the same items because you’ve forgotten you have it?
"
The more "yes" one gives to these questions, the more inclined one is to hoarding tendancies.

Are you a  hoarder?  Is hoarding a good part of living?

It is natural to accumulate stuff as one settles in a place for a longer period of time.  But how does one manage to live more simply?  Is hoarding necessarily bad?  Or, what is good about it?

What was Jesus' attitude towards earthly possessions?

13 August 2014

Tweeting Scripture

I have been playing this game on Twitter for a number of years already.

If a Bible verse excites me, I would tweet it.  Or, if I think of a Bible verse that fit in the context of what somebody else has tweeted, I would tweet that verse as a response.

It excites me when enough people "favourite" or "retweet" such tweets.

Does this imply that the Bible is relevant today?

It seems that less people are quoting Scripture nowadays, even though the Bible has been a most quoted book in the past.  Is this a false impression?

If the Bible were to be quoted, then which language/version would be best to use?

Do we make an effort to memorise the Scriptures the way our grandparents used to?  Or the way persecuted church members do?

Does the Bible contain God's word?  Or are they just words that contain inspiring thoughts?  Is it any more relevant than other scriptures, eg. the Hindu Vedas or the Islamic Quran?

What do you believe?  Why?

07 August 2014

Support money

Where does money come from?  It doesn't grow on trees.  What do we do to get it?  How much of it do we deserve?

At a partnership development workshop, I learned that there are two ways whereby one is able to establish an income:
  • From trading something else for it: One may be earning a salary, where one exchanges one's time, intellect, strength and youthfulness for one's wage.  Alternatively, one may be trading goods (illegal arms, toys, clothing, food) for money, or trading money (foreign exchange, bullion, stocks) for money and earning a profit for that.
  • From gifts.  Jesus lived on gifts.  So did the Levites.  Social welfare is a gift (nor a right, although some treat it that way).
Children may earn pocket money, in which case, it is a "trade" scenario.  Alternatively, they may be given pocket money, in which case, it would be a "gift" scenario.

In my culture, gift income is unusual, except in the case of charity.  But it is a necessary one for church and church workers to live on.  What is it like where you come from?  I have lived in some places where living on gift income is more normal.

I am now at the stage where, in the light of my circumstances, I am needing to choose between these two options.  What would you advise me to do?  What would you do?