Modern Gentleman

Mark Merrill lists eight things that he believes every father should teach his son:

1. Be a gentleman.
2. Honour parents.
3. Respect women.
4. Have integrity.
5. Be responsible.
6. Work hard.
7. Love others.
8. Love God.

Would you agree with his list?  Why or why not?  How about the order?

(Personally, I think that "love God" should be #1, and "love others" should be #2.  My reason is Jesus' words in Matthew 22:36-40.  I think Mark's other points are relevant also, but those two points should come first.  The other six points are kind of contained within these two, but the specific application to gentlemen need to be taught.)

Should all men be gentlemen?  What do women expect?  What does society expect?

Many say that chivalry is dead.  Sometimes they say this jokingly.  Sometimes they say this lamenting the good old days when men were more gentlemanly.  But John Picciuto points out that women's expectations have changed also.  No longer do they expect to be invited out to dinner or for men to get to know them deeply in this age of 140-character sms and tweets.  So when men are being nice, they can be easily misunderstood as being interested in a big way.

Do you think so?

How can we avoid such misunderstandings these days?  Shouldn't men be chivalrous anymore?

What do you think?  Why?

Flattery

"Flattery" is the act of praising someone; often in an insincere way because you wish to gain something from the act.  This is the "meaning given by the Cambridge dictionary.

Do you flatter?  Do you receive flattery?  Why?  How do you respond to it?

Joshua Rogers shared about his experience with flattery in his blog.  He was out with his friend, Holly, when the conversation led him to give her a list of compliments.  Upon receiving these compliments, Holly asked Joshua about his motives.  "... are you interested in me?" was her question.

Joshua, in his naivety, explained that he sincerely believed his words when he paid those compliments.  Holly, however, did not want to be flattered that way, unless the man was interested in her.

Would you call it flattery in such a situation?

Why wouldn't a woman like to receive compliments?

How can a man express himself without being interested?

I wish I understood the dating game better in my years before getting married.  I would befriend people because I like to be friendly ... but never expecting the friendships to develop into anything intimate.  Perhaps some women friends might have wished that I was after relationships that were deeper.  Perhaps they weren't.  Maybe the things that I had said were taken as flattery - sincere ones or otherwise.  Maybe not.

What are the rules of the dating game?  Does every couple understand those rules the same way?  Can one be honest and understood all the time?  When should one wish for relationships that are deeper, and when should one not?

What rules or guidelines would you advise the inexperienced?

Please share.